Friday, October 29, 2010

So Now You're a Zombie : A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin

It’s two days before Halloween and soon all you newly reanimated corpses will be moaning and limping your way to finding what you love the most, Braaaains!!! Before you head out for the night, I recommend you read this book. It’s written just for you.

Make sure you start with chapter one, “What the Hell am I?” Here you will find a zombie timeline of historical events, which goes all the way back to 200,000 B.C. until present day. You will also find a list of the names that humans use for zombies, such as mindless drones, the infected, creepers, biters and Zombo sapiens.

Being undead can make for some confusing encounters, so make sure to review the list of non-zombie types.  For example, you can read about intoxicated humans. “During the early stages of a zombie outbreak, humans may attempt to escape the reality of their hopeless situations by overconsuming alcoholic beverages.” Although these humans may seem zombie-like to you, don’t be fooled, they are definitely on the menu!

Take a glance at the zombie assessment checklist and mark the boxes that apply to you. Here are a few you may recognize:

• You have a dismal appearance.
• You’re suffering from insomnia.
• You’ve thrown off all your emotional baggage.
• You’re bulletproof from the neck down.

Not only will this book help you survive, but it “should give you the upper hand (if still attached) over your human prey.” Happy Hunting!

Check the VBPL catalog for So Now You're a Zombie.

Not in the mood for food?  Perhaps you're in the mood for love?  If so, check out - Hungry For Your Love : An Anthology of Zombie Romance.  Filled with lot's of romantic tales, zombie style.

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